The Husband's Role Part II (What if he's not doing it!)

In the "Husbands Role Part I" I looked at God's plan for husbands, and ended with a question: "What do wives do when their husbands aren't taking on that role?".

There are two different answers to this question, depending on whether your husband is a believer, or a non-believer.

For husbands who do not believe the Word, your choices are limited. For this reason unmarried ladies, do NOT marry a non-believer!

Peter tells us the following:

1 Peter 3

1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Peter tells us that wives of unbelieving husbands are to win their husbands to Christ through their submissive behavior, without a word. This verse instructs wives not to try and change their husbands by "nagging". Peter says to win your husbands by your submissive BEHAVIOR. The purity of your actions speak louder than any words.

Proverbs 27:15 (New International Version)

15 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;

If you want to help change your husband, start with changing yourself.

Matthew 7:17

Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.

Matthew 7:3

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no
attention to the plank in your own eye?

If you want your husband (or wife, if I have husbands reading this blog) to take on their proper biblical roles, you need to start by throwing yourself in to your own role. Wives, do you want your husband to lead? If so, are you letting him? Do you question his every decision? Are you a living example? Are you submitting to him as if he was the Lord?

There is no dependency relationship between a wife's submission and obedience, and her husband acting as a loving, biblical, head of household. Wives must submit even when her husband doesn't believe (or act on) the Word. Husbands must love their wives even when they are rebellious. Do not expect the Lord to work in your spouses life on your behalf until you have changed your own.

Now, for wives who have believing husbands who are not taking on their proper role as leader/preacher of the home:

Again, are you submitting? Are you allowing him to lead, or discouraging him from it? The same principle applies here as with the unbelieving husband. Do not take on your proper role only if he takes his on first. YOU submit first.

Wives of believing husbands also have a greater tool at their disposal... the Word. Without nagging (telling him once is information, twice is nagging) remind him of his role, using only Scripture, using a meek and quiet voice. Most men want to lead. If he is a true believer, a slight nudge is likely enough.

If his sin is of a serious nature, follow the biblical model of dealing with a brother's sin:

Matthew 18:15

15"If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church

"I've tried everything, and nothing is working!"

Pray. Have you tried just focusing on your own walk and letting God handle the rest? Remember, you can only divorce for adultery. You can only seperate for your personal safety or that of your children. Otherwise, you have two options... keep trying (in ways God instructed), or turn it over to God. Trust in Him.

Your husband already walking the path? Halleluah! Follow the bible's directions on helping him with his load. If he is taking his role seriously, he has a lot on his shoulders.

Everything ties together. Everything has a PURPOSE.